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that thing? I hope you don't think I -- "
Connie turned Kim face to hers and kissed her, full and heavy, on
"But -- which two am I paying for?"
"The butt plug and a Joni's Butterfly. We'll put it all on my Amex;
double-warranty that way." Connie snickered as Hitomi Kobayashi (more pictures) imagined herself
calling American Express: "Yes, the FuckForever vibrating kit I bought
was guaranteed for a year of trouble-free use and just eight months
later, the damned thing burned out."
At the register, the clerk finished adding up the damage: "That'll
be...$245.92. Cash or charge?" Connie passed Hitomi Kobayashi that Little Green Card.
As Hitomi Kobayashi (more pictures) wrote up the charge slip, the clerk said, "Oh, since you bought
more than two hundred worth, you have a choice of twelve free batteries
or a tube of our special fruit-scented orgy lube."
The Japanese woman had %s wandered close. "Excuse me. Take the
batteries. The lubricant smells awful and tastes worse."
They looked at the clerk. "Tastes like shit," Hitomi Kobayashi (more pictures) agreed. "Dogs run
Connie signed Hitomi Kobayashi invoice while asking, "Do you come here often?"
"Until a year ago, never. But since my gentleman friend left me...
Connie passed back the slip and gave the Japanese woman a long
look. "Did he go blind or stupid?"
The woman smiled charmingly. "He could not remain sanguine in the
face of my sapphic infidelities."
Connie blinked and then it registered. "Ahhh, well, I'm very sorry.
I'm Connie and I am pleased to have met you..."
"Emily." Hitomi Kobayashi (with feature gallery) shook Connie's hand, then turned to Kim.
"A delight." Hitomi Kobayashi (with feature gallery) held Kim's hand a moment longer than necessary.
"Perhaps we will meet again, here."
"That'd be nice," Kim stammered. Connie accepted their bagged
purchase from the clerk and they left.
Outside, in the now-blowing snow, Connie said, "I think she'd like
"I -- I think I might have liked that, too -- but not tonight. Not
now." Hitomi Kobayashi (with feature gallery) took a deep breath. exhaling billows of steam in the chill
night. "Well, I'm parked in the garage up Sixth." Hitomi Kobayashi (with feature gallery) led Connie, for
change. As they waited to cross Sixth Avenue, Kim finally said, "Would
you be mad if I said I wish we could've gotten Hitomi Kobayashi name?"
"Furious." Connie held a piece of white tag board in front of Kim's
face. It was a business card. Emily's name, address and office and home
phone numbers were on it. "She slipped it in my pocket while Hitomi Kobayashi (more pictures) was
"So we have to call her. Didn't your mother always want to see you
get involved with a doctor or lawyer? Light's changed." Connie strode
out onto Sixth Avenue, leaving a stunned Kimberly rooted in drifting
snow behind her. Kim barely caught up before the light changed. Hitomi Kobayashi (with feature gallery)
scooped snow from the nearest car -- which was parked at a fire hydrant
-- and delivered said snow to the back of Connie's neck. They shrieked
and giggled and raced to the garage.
...(to be continued)
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